Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
