my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Randomize
