Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
