She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
