i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
