Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
