Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
