i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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