No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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