Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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