i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
