In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
