Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize