My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
