I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
