Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
