Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
