okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
