She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
