OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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