Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
In America we eat man semen.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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