In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
