It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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