The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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