too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
