A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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