We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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