I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
