She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
