I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
