sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I just had sex on a roof
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize
