just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
