How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
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