Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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