I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
In America we eat man semen.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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