hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
