Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
