I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize