Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
