That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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