Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
