I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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