Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
