on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
