My nipple is on Facebook.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
