well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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