the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
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