on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm really busy with my period
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