I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
