I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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