I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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