It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
