i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
