Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
