so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
