bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
You pole danced in your parka.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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