she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
