Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
